Thursday, June 7, 2012

My flying adventure

I was on a lilly pad  I felt like  flying  in the sky. The sky is dark  and when I was in the sky I saw a person drinking a cup of    water and the detective looked at the lilly pad  it was wet it was slimey  the frog went a way. To a home to watch TV and chickens were flying too.

This a a draft piece of writing. Mrs Natusch has only checked my spelling.
What did I do well? What do I need to work on?                                                                                                                                                                      

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kasiti
    I like the way you began your writing by telling us you were sitting on a lily and and what it felt like.
    Can you add some adjectives (describing words) for me? What did the sky look like? What was the lily pad like?
    Mrs Natusch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To mrs Natusch
      I have checked my writing.
      my Goal is to check my spelling.

      Delete